Most Likelys! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Jacques Rimmier   
Wednesday, 22 April 2009 05:00
Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: Most Likelys!

Columnist of the year Jacques here with the first edition of Creme de la creme for 2009. According to the calender spring is here and the weather is perfect for Wiffles (well, in France it is). Jacques has been urgently awaiting the climate change so, once again my eyes can gaze upon Nash's rump! Before I have to start typing with only one's what is under my beret.

Heading into my third season as the KWL leading columnist, I have started to see some treads. Trends like pitchers that think they are 'aces' probably aren't and that the 4 seeds don't advance in the Playoffs. After a glass of sparkling red wine, I thought I would share my own predictions, you know, Jacques' type of predictions!  This bit of knowledge is bold and sprinkled with flair and a few random pubes, Jacques’s Most Likelys”.

Most likely to be caught dancing with yours truly: Matt Conroy. 
This sexy Frenchman is hard to resist and my dance moves are none to take lightly! I hope he lets me led!

Most likely to win it all: Belly Itchers
They have practically won everything in the KWL, but one thing their missing is my affection!  I often wonder if these chaps are from Great Britain, as they share no love for this French Native!

Most likely to play half naked:  Benny Champagne
My love for half naked men is large, but seeing Benny shirtless is even enough for his metro to loose his lunch!  If the One Hit Wonders are your schedule after June, eat before the game at your own risk!

Most Likely to throw out his back: Jim Noel
If things go as planned for Jacques, Jim won’t be throwing out this back on the field!  I wonder if AARP insurance covers crabs, because I am not clean!

Most likely to dress like a woman: Yours truly
It’s true, occasionally I like to dress like La Goulue and pretend I am dancing at Moulin Rouge.

Most likely to have all the fun:  Matt Jennings
Before the Commissioner denied my request to join the league, Matt from the Snowsuit offered me an incentive laden contact.  Most of the incentives will still be given, regardless of my ability to wiffle.

Most likely to loose his cool:  Mike Raber
Fiery in and out of the sack! And I should know!  There is no doubt at some point, mister Raber will blow his lid.

Most likely to look like Bill Goldberg: Pat Burnell

Most likely to bobble balls: Daryl Hutson
He’s always had a loose grip on the balls, and this season will prove to be no different!  Jacques is very disappointed.

Most likely to not hear me hitting on them: Brian Barber
I only wish I had a fancy keyboard flip phone so I could send this sexy beast some of my best pick up lines!  He can’t hear me hitting on him and my stripe' stache blocks his lip reading ability!  

Most likely sing “bust a move”: Katie Meyers
She knows the words and loves to prove it.  If only this blonde aspiring rapper would Bust a Move with Jacques!  Can I get a little action from the back section?

Most likely to have team chants: The Lemons
Let’s Go Lemons, Let’s Go!  I also would not be surprised if they had weekly team meetings to watch game film!  If I can find their secret team location, I’ll swap their game tapes out for “One Night in Paris 2”, featuring myself!

Most likely to smoke swisher sweets during a game: Mike Jacobson
The 2008 KWL Basic Mental light champion.  Looking to slow down the wasted burn of an idle cigarette, Mike could be switching to the slower burn of the Swisher Sweet.

Most likely to be caught making out in the parking lot with Jacques: Tom Mausen
After a little preseason teaser at the Flesher Field parking lot, Jacques is looking forward to continued “playing time” with Chuckers leadoff hitter.


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