All-Male Review (Rookie Review) PDF Print E-mail
Written by Jacques Rimmier   
Friday, 04 June 2010 12:43
6/4/10
Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: All-Male Review (Rookie Review)

There is only one thing heavier then my love for fine wine on a summer night and that’s my love for Rookie Wifflers.  It’s as if a part of my soul is forever attached to this first year crowd or maybe it’s just that they don’t know me and often give me chance! Either way, whenever I pick up the pen for one of my award winning articles, I gravitate towards writing favorable reviews of my newest acquaintances. 

So for this edition of Crème de la Crème, I bring you….All-Male (Rookie) Review!

John Liberty – PF Flyers
John’s silky smooth beard and soft pillow eyes are just part of what attracts me to each PF Flyers scheduled game.  Maybe I am just a fan-boy of an up and coming star. Regardless I find myself hunkered over near one of park’s pavilions watching the “Lib” smack the ball around the field.  From day one, I knew this #11 was going to be special and he has yet to let me down! 

Brian Rensch – Kentucky Waterfalls
Monsieur Rensch is more of an elusive homme. I have not had the pleasure to catch many games where he has played, but from what I hear around the Kalamazoo Gospel Mission, this fire crotch is the real deal.  Many have said he is as straight money as pop can deposits.  I have a few “KEN” circled on my schedule; I just hope I get a chance to catch this hunk in action sometime soon!

Ryan Davis – Kentucky Waterfalls
I have never been attracted to the freakishly large, but Ryan has a bit of a “sloth” from Goonies feel to him; scary, but strangely loveable. Standing at around 5’10” tall, I am not used to looking up to kiss, which makes me somewhat uncomfortable giving Ryan his congratulatory smooches.  You can say I have chapped lips because he has been having a lot of success in his Rookie Campaign.

Adam Kuzmin – Scared Hitless
Adam and I have a lot in common; He has an eye problem, I have an eye problem!  I have herpes and now he has herpes!  I am only kidding Adam, it’s actually gonorrhea. Once again I have found myself entrapped by my lust for MVP caliber rookies.  When Adam isn’t slinging wiffleballs or slugging homeruns, I find myself alone with nothing but my thoughts.  I always look forward to watching the Hitless play (well except for that Mark fellow, does he have Down syndrome?)

Zac Adams – Industrials
Young Zac Adams is kind of kid you  would have to card before...well you know. You don’t want to end up like L.T!  The first time I laid eyes on Zac was during week two’s matchup against the Belly Itchers.  He was dominating on the mound and it was at that point that I noticed the #11.  As much as I wanted to meet this young phenom, I hate everything that is/was Industrials #11 and now #8.

Brandon Labadie – Lemons
I don't know sign language, but can someone tell Brandon that I think he's cute? When B-town is on the wiffleball fields, my heart throbs like I'm at a B2K concert. His smooth delivery and trendy beard are just a couple of things that make this Lemons so juicy!

 


Last Updated on Friday, 04 June 2010 21:27
 

Standings

American North W L
Glory Days 38 21 7
The Sandlot 16 12
Friars 15 14
Underdogs 8 20
American South W L
Wiff This 44 17 11
PF Flyers 13 15
Shanghai Chuckers 11 17
Hauses and Bauses 8 20
National North W L
The Scared Hitless 6 24 4
Firebirds 0 0
Ice Cold Pitchers 0 0
Kentucky Waterfalls 11 17
National South W L
Diablos 11 24 4
5 Dollar Pitchers 19 9
Hall of Shamers 0 0
Graboids 4 24
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