Class of 2010 Report Cards. PDF Print E-mail
Written by Jacques Rimmier   
Wednesday, 14 July 2010 14:24
Crème de la crème with Jacques Rimmier: Class of 2010 Report Cards.
Jacques knows it's hard to believe, but I was never a scholar student! In fact, when it came time for Report Cards, I would try to intercept the currier before my dear Mere would get her mitts on it.  As a wee lass, I was more into belle femme then my studies.  In the end, my tail chasing could be the reason I am homeless, but no sense in second guessing myself!  With the majority of the 2010 season at our backs, I figured it was a perfect time to give the Expansion teams some feedback about their season performance. The good, the bad and the straight up nasty! There is just something inside me that loves to bust bubbles and egos! So without anymore babble, it's time for the five new teams to see if they passed or if they maybe on their way to another awful season!
Name: No Big Deal

Leading the league in detentions, No Big Deal played the 2010 season like the poor smelly kid that would miss plenty of class time, yet no one cared. If there is one thing this Frenchman knows, it's being poor and smelly!  The on field product was awful at times, suffering from a case of the flakeys. It's tough being on the bottom of the barrow, but try being to the bottom of man pile!

Catagory
First Semester
Second Semester
Attendance B D-
Plays well together C- B-
Plays well with others B B
Overall C-
Additional Notes: You Passed 1st grade and now have an oppertunity to continue your education in the KWL. It's been a tough year, expectations where high. Now use your experience to make a less flakey team, probably consisting of less 20 something kids, no Sebastian, and don't expect to win it all.

Name: PF Flyers

Being the teachers pet has its advantages; favorable grades, less work load and plenty of one-on-one time.  They may have ended the season only a couple of handies away from an A-! The additional tutoring must have payed off, as the Flyers held their own in a very tough American League.

Catagory
First Semester
Second Semester
Attendance F B
Plays well together C A
Plays well with others A A
Overall B+
Additional Notes: Now comes the hard part; Keeping it together in your sophomore campaign! Eyes will be on your team to improve and teams will now know what to expect when they see the "pff" on their schedules..

Name: Sidewinders
Every class has a straight A student, but who would guess it would be the team that’s 2-20?  With the perfect mix of fun, beer and hotness this expansion team is top of the class!  Although Scott declined my invitation to a “personal” interview, the Sidewinders are still the head of this year’s class.
Catagory
First Semester
Second Semester
Attendance A A
Plays well together A A
Plays well with others A A
Overall A
Additional Notes: It's always hard to be the door mat of the league, but you could always spice things up and add more sinfully clad uniforms! My vote is sequence thongs, mmmm magnifi!

Name: Kentucky Waterfalls
Attendance is their big issue! Losing games because of key players becoming last minute no-shows. Ryan even stood me up three times for our agreed upon man date.  I am starting to think that these love letters are part of some clever and not so funny hoax!
Catagory
First Semester
Second Semester
Attendance B- B
Plays well together A A
Plays well with others A A
Overall A-
Additional Notes: It appears the Waterfalls will be the only team in this years class to break into the playoffs, kudos to you guys. I just hope that Rensch doesn't skip any of our pilaties classes for this years postseason games, those classes are damn expensive!

Name: Scared Hitless

Previously enrolled in special ed classes, the team took a big grade hit when it was discovered that Mark actually does not suffer from Down Syndrome.  For the first time in my life, I feel taken advantage of after several pity sex sessions.

Catagory
First Semester
Second Semester
Attendance A B
Plays well together C- B-
Plays well with others D B
Overall C+
Additional Notes: Team chemistry was questionable for many weeks early in the season. So much so, I had to cut off the team of any Group work. They have improved moral, however the bite marks and back scratches are still visible.
Last Updated on Wednesday, 14 July 2010 14:29
 
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • deli.cio.us
  • Digg
  • reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks