Ten Little Thingies: Tribute Edition PDF Print E-mail
Written by Travis Branch   
Wednesday, 20 April 2011 11:45

Ten Little Thingies: Tribute Edition by Travis Branch 4/20/2011

Over the years, the KWL has seen its fair share of people come and go, some folks being bigger characters than others. They have all left their marks on the league, but no one left a bigger mushroom tipped smudge on the league than Jacques Rimmeir.  The wiffleball community is still in a state of shock after hearing the news of his grizzly murder.  When I found out that Jacques was dead, all I could do was think of all the great memories that he provided.  The man (I think) was always generous, sharing his wine as well as his unwarranted opinions on minorities. I will never forget his open heart and his open palm (on my ass).  This article is my tribute to the greatest character that the KWL has ever known.

Ten Things I will miss about Jacque

    1. His hate for commissioner Meyers. The one thing that everyone shared with Jacques and what helped him to relate to the rest of the KWL players.
    2. His articles. It seems like every other article on the website now is some amateur nonsense written by someone named Ryan Winfield. Even though he and I were rival writers, I miss the material written by the only person to ever win two columnists of the year awards.
    3. The sexual harassment. I’ll never forget the random facebook conversations about what I was wearing or the late night texts that had an angry sexual context.
    4. He kept the Rapist away. Jacques may have been a little touchy feely, but at least he used alcohol to get what he wanted….He didn’t go around raping anyone he pleased. That bit of class will dearly be missed.
    5. Free wine.  I’ll never forget the first time I tasted the finest wine ever put in a box. He would show up every Thursday and serve wine form the men’s restroom at township park.
    6. The summer of love. I’ll always remember listening to Nash tell stories abut he magical summer they spent together in that warm damp Astro van. Their first date was to a drive in showing of the French classic  “One Swallow Brought Spring” 
    7. The Rivalry. The most heated rivalry in the KWl was never the Indies VS Wildies, or the Lemons VS the Diablos. In fact it was never even on the field. The biggest rivalry was in fact, between Jacques and myself. For two years we were neck and neck for the columnist of the year award, with him winning both times. Now that there is no competition, I will return to writing this year and dedicate the award that I will inevitably win, to Jacques himself.
    8. He always saved us a seat. Ever wonder why there was always a picnic table around for us to use for our games? Every night Jacques used to sleep on those tables so some random family couldn’t use it the next day for something pointless like a picnic.
    9. His wardrobe. What more can you say about a man brave enough to go around in red stripes and a beret, day in and day out.
    10. The laughs….I’ll never forget the laughs we all shared with Jacques. RIP buddy.

Last Updated on Friday, 06 May 2011 19:56
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • deli.cio.us
  • Digg
  • reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks