Stir-up Socks: The Origins. PDF Print E-mail
Written by Brian Meyers   
Monday, 14 May 2012 12:06

 

Stir-up Socks: The Origins. By Brian Meyers  5/14/12  

Never has a pair of cotton socks been cloaked in more mystery than those sported by Brian Lewis of Scared Hitless throughout the wiffleball season.   Each week, the visiting team stares and wonders, “Is he wearing his kids t-ball socks?!?”

So that is where we started.  After the 2-0 Game 1 win Thursday against the Lemons, we caught up with Brian’s son on the newly renovated Township jungle gym.  “Hey little man, where are your socks?” the puzzled and barefoot ginger darted to the next play structure. “HEY, WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS” I yelled across the divide; nothing, no answers.  He continued on his way up the climbing wall and out of line of sight.

I returned to the wiffle field to try and see if I could gather some information from his teammates.  The team had recently taken the field and it gave me a chance to question the game’s DH, Mark Thomson.  “So what’s up with Lewis’s socks?” I asked in a calm and casual way.  “He can only wear them if he hits over .350!” stated a rather irritated Thomson.  Considering the attack cotton has gone under

for being the “un-performance” material, it’s hard to believe that Lewis’s sock use is driven by his performance on the field!  “Now SCRAM!” exclaimed Mark.  That was my cue to move on, you don't want to see Mark angry!

Pretending to take game photo’s, I wandered out beyond the outfield fence to see if I could get some answers from the team’s franchise player, Adam Kuzmin.  “Hey Adam”, I whispered from his left, startling him as if I snuck up on him!  “Wow, didn’t see you there!” Kuzmin laughed.  “I’m trying to find out the back story behind Lewis’s socks, what can you give me?’  He grinned and tossed me a ball out of his right pocket.  The writing on the ball said “I’ll send you an email, I have some dirt.  It’s not safe to talk here!”

The next morning, I eagerly checked my inbox to find an email from Mr. Kuzmin ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ).  The email was brief and started: “I can’t tell you how I got this, but I can promise that it’s legit.”  The following image was the attachment.
Mystery solved.

Last Updated on Friday, 08 June 2012 13:10
 

Standings

American North W L
Glory Days 38 21 7
The Sandlot 16 12
Friars 15 14
Underdogs 8 20
American South W L
Wiff This 44 17 11
PF Flyers 13 15
Shanghai Chuckers 11 17
Hauses and Bauses 8 20
National North W L
The Scared Hitless 6 24 4
Firebirds 0 0
Ice Cold Pitchers 0 0
Kentucky Waterfalls 11 17
National South W L
Diablos 11 24 4
5 Dollar Pitchers 19 9
Hall of Shamers 0 0
Graboids 4 24
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