Cuts and Bruises PDF Print E-mail
Written by Matt Jennings   
Monday, 02 June 2014 12:18

 

THE KWL INJURY REPORT

 

Though the finely tuned athletes of the KWL make it look easy, the summer-long grind of a full wiffleball season can take its toll on even the most fit competitor. We’ve encountered blown out elbows, torn up knees, separated shoulders, broken bones, concussions, and “the brown bottle flu”….or at least Bryan Jennings has. Our league’s best player and reigning National Wiffle Player of the Year has even managed to play his entire career with a completely detached retina amongst other things. Injuries are a way of life in the KWL but you won’t hear any of our teams or players use them as an excuse.

 

The most recent injury could potentially derail one AL team with championship aspirations. Coming in to the season, all the pundits said Wiff This would go as far as MVP Mike Hogan’s arm would take them. Turns out they should have been focusing on his ankles. Hogan suffered a dreaded high-ankle sprain in softball a few weeks ago that he expects to bother him all season. On Monday, he took a pair of cleats to his good ankle in an outfield mishap, drawing blood and causing instant swelling. Hogan stayed down in the outfield for approximately 3 minutes and appeared to be wiping away tears as he sauntered off the field. He was overheard asking each of his teammates if it “looked like it needed stitches.”

 

A press release from Wiff This says Hogan expects to be considered Day to Day, but anybody who saw him try to move on Monday has to wonder how long he will be able to gut it out. One fan noted that it looked like “one of those LARPers or that guy who hits last for Glory Days was trying to make it to first in a Hogan jersey.” For now, Wiff This will stick with their star, but sources have confirmed they have put feelers out to retired Fun Star/All Star/HR Derby triple threat Marcus Kole incase the pain gets to be too much.

 

Hogan told reporters he believes everything will be fine. “I’m going to do what all the greats do and play through this like it never happened,” he said. “I’m not one to make excuses and with the talent we have on this team, we should be just fine. That being said, if my numbers slip, I’m sure the All-Star and awards committees will take my injuries into account. It’s nearly impossible pushing off the rubber and transferring weight in the batters box. I think the only fair thing for the league to do is commission John Hollinger to create a formula for modifying the stats of injured players based on severity of injury and that player’s career averages.”

 

League owners are considering this scenario and it has been confirmed that they have reached out to a representative of Mr. Hollinger. In the meantime, everybody is wishing for the fast and full recovery of Mike Hogan.

 

 

 

 

Last Updated on Tuesday, 08 July 2014 11:48
 

Standings

American North W L
Friars 20 9
PF Flyers 19 10
Wiff This 18 11
Shanghai Chuckers 16 13
Special K's 14 15
The Sandlot 11 18
Angry Balls 8 21
National North W L
Glory Days 7 24 5
Diablos 17 12
The Scared Hitless 17 12
Growlers 16 13
Ice Cold Pitchers 15 14
Graboids 6 23
Firebirds 2 27
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