Rookie Survival Guide - Now in paperback PDF Print E-mail
Written by Travis Branch   
Monday, 06 June 2016 00:00
6/6/16

T-Banch's Ten Little Thingies. Rookie Survival guide -

As a tribute to my book "Real Sports Bryan Gumbel doesn't know" finally going to print in paperback I've decided to revisit my chapter on the Rookie Survival Guide.  This is applicable to many sports besides wiffleball.  Please take an introspective look as you deeply try to understand the lessons I'm providing. 

1.) You will be ridiculed. As a rookie you will most likely be hazed in a light hearted fashion (and sometimes not so light hearted).  Be prepared, but never take it too seriously, it’s all in good fun.
    2.) Stay away from the stripe shirted Frenchman known as Jacques Rimmier. Although the existence of this individual is often disputed, the horror stories are enough cause to be frightened. Beware if you get too close, he will either break your heart or your rectum!
    3.) This is not baseball. The pitches move a lot, the base paths are short and even shallow fly balls are tricky. While baseball skills come in handy, there is no such thing as a routine play in wiffleball.
    4.) Listen to other players. I was amazed at how friendly and eager to help almost everyone in the league was.  I improved a lot over the season and I owe that to the awesome veterans in the KWL.
    5.) Don’t be a dick. While winning is the ultimate goal, it isn’t fun to play with a cut throat attitude. Just take it easy, and have fun.  You don’t have to have every call go your way, and at the end of the day, you will make more friends just having fun.
    6.) Respect the Tate.  In your first at bat against him you will strike out faster than me with the ladies! He throws like a true ace and has the stats to prove it. While A.J. is a true fireballer, he is also one of the nicest guys in the league.
    7.) Guy love, it’s here, probably because the beer, get used to it. I know it’s weird, but guy on guy horseplay is now a staple in the KWL. If you don’t like it, you are just jealous that you don’t have good enough friends to enjoy questionable horseplay with.
    8.) Attend the allstar and funstar festivities. Even if you do not make the team it is still a great time and a great way to show respect for your teammates and the league. Plus, you cannot go wrong with free hotdogs!
    9.) Stat padding is lame. C’mon if you are already winning by a bunch, you don’t need a third homer. Take a bad swing or settle for a single and you will get more respect from the league.
    10.) Joke around!  Have fun! Relax! This is a fun game, take the time to enjoy it.
Last Updated on Monday, 06 June 2016 12:02
 
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